My name is Althea and I’m an addict. Life was hard for me growing up and I struggled to feel like I fit in. I started using as a preteen, with more socially acceptable drugs but I was quickly swept away by the escape that the less socially acceptable drugs provided. I felt that I had found the family and belonging I never had through my using friends. Eventually my using cost me everything and there were no “friends” left. In the end I was using nearly exclusively alone or at my dealers house. After nearly two decades in active addiction and trying every which way to manage my drug use on my own, I came to my first NA meeting in rehab through an H&I meeting that was brought in. The whole time I was in treatment I thought about using. I dreamt about it even in my sleep. But somehow, when the NA members came and shared their story at the front of the big group room, my racing, obsessive thoughts quieted down. I felt less alone, like someone else could relate to the insanity I had been through and that still continued between my ears. It took me two more visits to rehab before I really HEARD what they were saying. Perhaps more importantly, I was finally willing to put some ACTION behind the suggestions given to me. I went to meetings nearly every day my first year clean. I regret nothing. The hours I’ve spent in meetings over the years have easily been the best investment of time and energy I’ve ever made. I learned and continue to learn how to be a better person, how to make decisions I can be proud of and I live a life I no longer feel the need to escape from. I went to at least a meeting a day the first 90 days. I got a sponsor. I worked (and continue to work) the steps. I sponsor other women. The pain I’ve experienced has a new type of value when I get to use it as medicine to help others treat their pain by helping them feel less alone and find a new way to live. Everything good in my life today came from following suggestions that NA members gave me. I’m going to keep coming back; thanks for listening!
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